The "90's Summer" Wasn’t Magic. The Play Was.

If you’ve been on social media lately, chances are you’ve seen the “give your kids a 90s summer” trend making the rounds.

The idea is pretty simple: more bike rides, more freeze pops, more neighborhood adventures, more time outside, more boredom, and more opportunities for kids to figure out what to do next.

Many of us have fond memories of childhood moments that weren’t carefully planned.

A cardboard box became a spaceship.

A stick became a sword.

A backyard morphed into Hogwarts, or Middle Earth, or Narnia.

A neighbor mighty-morphed into a Power Ranger!

That being said ...

We want to be thoughtful about how we talk about the idea of a "90s summer."

Parenting already comes with enough pressure.

You don’t need yet another person on the internet telling you that you "only have 18 SUMMERS!!!!!!" to create a magical childhood.

We don't think you need to fill every afternoon with meticulously curated adventures that feel spontaneous and totally ... non-curated.

We do think (and have always known, long before any Instagram / TikTok trend!) that children benefit from having opportunities for unstructured play - time when they can explore, create, problem solve, and follow their own curiosity.

So what is unstructured play?

Structured play has a purpose, a set of directions, or an expected outcome - think organized sports, board games, or building a Lego set by following the instructions.

Unstructured (or “free”) play is different. It’s play without a specific goal, where children decide what happens next..

Take a group of kids outside and they may all head different directions - literally and figuratively. One kid balances on the edge of the sandbox. Another makes grass soup. Another pretends to be an orphaned child forced to survive alone in the woods (a la The Boxcar Children?! Just me?!)

The important piece is that the child is leading.

Why does play matter so much?

Play is not just a way to pass time. It’s one of the main ways children learn about themselves, other people, and the world around them.

Through play, children are practicing skills that support development - including communication, problem solving, creativity, emotional regulation, flexibility, and motor skills.

Child development researchers have long recognized play as an important part of healthy development. The American Academy of Pediatrics has also highlighted that play helps children build confidence, manage stress, strengthen relationships, and practice new skills.

In other words: when your child is “just playing,” there is often a lot more happening beneath the surface.

Unstructured play builds problem solving skills

When a child is creating their own game, they are constantly making decisions.

What should we build?

How can we make this work?

What happens if this doesn’t work?

The fort falls down. The tower collapses. The new version of tag doesn’t go according to plan.

Those moments give children a chance to experiment, adjust, and try again.

The answer doesn’t always have to come from an adult - and that’s where children get to practice independence.

Unstructured play supports creativity

When there isn’t a “right” way to play, children get to use their imagination.

The edge of a sandbox becomes a tightrope.

A stuffed animal becomes a sick patient who needs a check-up.

A puddle becomes a quiet pool of cool water behind a small waterfall in the nearby brook where you keep your glass bottles of milk cold (as you can see The Boxcar Children were REALLY INTEGRAL TO MY CHILDHOOD!)

Children learn that they can take an idea and turn it into something new.

That ability to imagine possibilities is a skill that carries far beyond childhood.

Unstructured play helps children practice social skills

When children play together without an adult directing every moment, they have to work things out.

Who gets to choose the game?

What happens when someone changes the rules?

How do we handle disappointment?

Of course, this doesn’t mean children will magically navigate every social situation perfectly. There will be disagreements, hurt feelings, and moments when everyone needs a break.

But we lean into those moments as opportunities to practice.

What if my child doesn’t naturally play this way?

This is an important question, because not every child jumps into imaginative play right away.

Some children prefer more structure. Some children need support getting started. Some children have interests that look different from what adults expect “play” to look like.

And that’s completely okay!

Unstructured play does not mean placing a child in a room full of toys and expecting them to entertain themselves for hours.

Sometimes it starts with a little connection:

“I wonder what we could make with these empty tissue boxes.”

“Want to build something together?”

“What happens if we try this?”

A little support can help children discover their own ideas.

Finding the balance

At the Boston Ability Center, we love structured activities, too! Sports, camps, lessons, and our very own therapy sessions all provide meaningful opportunities for children to learn, connect, and grow.

The goal isn’t to choose one over the other.

Children benefit from both!

Our clinicians typically use a child-led approach because we know motivation matters.

When children are engaged and interested, they are often more willing to practice skills and take on new challenges.

A child’s interests are not distractions from development - they are often the doorway into it.

So...you don't have to create the perfect “90s summer.”

By all means, ride bikes until the sun sets! Get dinner from the ice cream truck! "Rent" a movie (from the library - #RIPBlockbuster)!

But remember - the more we direct the play, the less opportunity children have to practice leading it.

In order to really be free play, it needs to be child directed.

The goal isn’t to make every moment magical.

It’s simply to leave time and space for children to explore, create, and discover.

And here's a piece of advice: never try to make a happy child happier.

Once your children are playing freely - try to step back and let it happen.